2.09.2019

A Hole into Holes Where We Live in, at The End it is Life and Soul

 A calm evening and I both were giving company to each other. There was no one, not even a bird and air. I sat on the stone looking at those tides that hardly rest in its life. The salty smells and dead crabs and fish bodies making me believe the end of the world is here only. I remembered my loved one who yesterday left me lone for the lifetime. My eyes were dried like there will be no tears for the next five years or more, I am not sure. He was not too older. Just five years gap between us. I never thought that he will leave like in the middle of the way just like this. I thought there is life waiting for us, there were many plans due next month and dreams were coming to picture soon. But I landed in hell suddenly in a day and all the thoughts and peaceful life disturbed.

A calm evening and I both were giving company to each other. There was no one, not even a bird and air. I sat on the stone looking at those tides that hardly rest in its life. The salty smells and dead crabs and fish bodies making me believe the end of the world is here only. I remembered my loved one who yesterday left me lone for the lifetime. My eyes were dried like there will be no tears for the next five years or more, I am not sure. He was not too older. Just five years gap between us. I never thought that he will leave like in the middle of the way just like this. I thought there is life waiting for us, there were many plans due next month and dreams were coming to picture soon. But I landed in hell suddenly in a day and all the thoughts and peaceful life disturbed.

A tide came faster and sprinkled water on my face and made me realised that don't think about the past. There is a life in front of me. All that was true but there was no company. I am 45, live in a coastal area alone. The relatives are still there at my home but they will be just for a few more days and then I will be alone. Truly, I have never been alone, not even for a day. We were a loving couple and had a strong company every day without fail. After a few minutes, a cold breeze spread my hair in front and indicate me that the company is easy to make, it's just a matter of will.



"How life plays with us? It makes us cry, laugh and sometimes take lives away."

We tried for a child but it did not happen, It was my ugly fact, the abnormality that I was facing in my life. Sometimes I could think that I shouldn't be born. I thought a lot there alone with my empty stomach. I was feeling like I have lost all the taste, hunger, thirst and sense. I felt like a dead body. That ugly fact and abnormality are not only with me but with many people I saw out there. Someone has something that sometimes makes us regret in our life.

My love had fourth stage cancer, I got to know about it when it was on the second stage. We did many things, we went to doctors and did all the possible things we could do. But the time slips away so fast and I have to face reality. I have a question to God that why he send us here with ups and down in life. We have ten bungalows around the same as the one I do and I know all of them how they live their life. They are rich and few of them are from royal families. Every one has diagnosed with something wrong. Someone has breathing issues, someone has a fracture or someone has eye problems.

I don't want people to be born with some extra power that I hear in movie or people from the past. But at least those who get birth on this holy land we called it mother earth I can straight away say that day-to-day man is in danger, our life is becoming hell.

"Are these environmental changes or it is happening from what we eat? Are deceases getting birth from our stupid mistakes or it is transferring from the planet of aliens?"

If it is a mistake of the human then I think I am equally responsible for the death of my husband. I am afraid about teenagers and what will happen with them and how we all make this aware the lives are at a risk. If all those I said is true then the one-day human will vanish forever from this earth. It made me think that only earth is doing this for the sake of its safety. Looking at infinite ocean human soon will be disappeared.

We are becoming so selfish, we just think about our-self. What is harming to other things? actually, we are not aware and one day maybe we have to pay for that. Sometimes I feel myself lucky that thank you god that I have no child, what if he born with different then? or he has any uncontrolled decease. It would only me that would be straight responsible for that.

Suddenly another tide hit me again and made me wet. Then I left home searching for another new beginning.